25 YEARS

Jenny and I got married 25 years ago today. That night of our marriage, we agreed that it was the happiest day of our lives. (She would later say, though, that the birth of her twin sons eclipsed that.) For the first 24 years, we took a photo on the anniversary day. However, one of the boys caught Covid and is quite symptomatic. And, I'm in Hong Kong. Neither stops us from thinking about that important day, though and I want to share the following thoughts, however scattered.

The Wedding

We got married at the Palace of the Legion of Honor. Jenny chose it because the wedding site and reception could be in the same location. The day after Jenny's Celebration of Life, I visited the Palace of the Legion of Honor, where I took the photo below. Nothing changed, even the reception and dining area.

Throughout my entire career at Intel, I had the distinct pleasure of working with Bruce Tufts, an engineering manager. He was the only one I asked to proofread my wedding vows. He was also the only one I asked to proofread my eulogy for Jenny, 22 years later. 

For our first-dance song, we chose the k.d. lang cover of The Air That I Breathe, originally released by the Hollies. While we were engaged, we brushed shoulders with her in downtown San Jose prior to her concert, which we attended the next day. One regret of mine is I never told her that we were about to get married and we chose her song for our first dance together.

At least a dozen of those who attended our wedding are no longer with us, including four grandparents, three parents, our officiant and, of course, our dear Jenny.

The Wedding Gifts

I remain thankful to everyone who attended the wedding and blessed us with presents to celebrate the occasion. A word about some of them:

My parents gave us a Dualit toaster, which I requested after reading an article about it in GQ. That thing is built like a tank. We have been using it regularly and it's still as good as new. To raise the toast from the slots, you push down a lever arm. This keeps the toast warm (instead of it popping up into colder air) and it also means there are no spring mechanisms to fatigue and fail.

We were given a frying pan by an Intel colleague. I used it to make pancakes for Dylan--a Sunday morning ritual--and the occasional paella all the way up till last year. Though it served its purpose well and it was certainly time for it to retire (I'm convinced there has to be toxics connected to nonstick surfaces more than 20 years), we didn't have the heart to throw it away.

From one of Jenny's family members on her mom's side, we received a gram of gold. Though neither of us would ever sell it, as a commodity it was worth $9.10. Today it's worth $108.16, not accounting for inflation.

This wedding invitation still hangs on our wall. It was the first item, in fact, that we hung on our wall when we moved into our current house.

The Honeymoon

For our honeymoon, Jenny and I went to Alaska and took a cruise down to Vancouver. We then drove to Seattle. Although I had been to Alaska and on cruises before the honeymoon, I haven't done either since.

The one semi-tense moment came during the drive to Seattle. Thick with traffic, I said the "F" word. Jenny sternly rebuked me and said if I say that around "the kids" (which of course was only a concept at that point) she would be really angry. The irony is that these days I use that word regularly around Dylan and Tyler but not around anyone else.

Not much to do with the wedding, but Jenny's influence nevertheless:

Out of the three of us, Dylan is the only one currently reading books regularly for fun. Jenny would be so proud, as she and Dylan were the founding members of her "Cozy Readers Club", which began when the two of them read together on the couch during a trip to Australia. Dylan reads for fun! Jenny would have been so proud.

The three of us all still play the NY Times word games, inspired by Jenny. Unfortunately all of our streaks have been broken over the past few weeks. Tyler and I streaks going well into the hundreds in Wordle, but "GOFER" became my undoing.

Jenny planned all of our family international trips, including to Canada, Asia, Europe (including Iceland) and Australia. However, since her passing, neither twin has left the country.

Jenny's garden still thrives. Tyler has been watering all the potted plants and the sprinkler system, as set up by Jenny, takes care of the rest. Sadly, the umbrella plant that Jenny revived from a cutting from my mom's house died. Skeeter grabbed it out of the pot and played with it on the lawn.

Several years ago when Tyler and I were flying internationally together, I needed frequent flyer numbers for both of us. Ever the organized mom, she emailed me right away. Ever since, I still regularly refer to that email as it has all the information we would ever need when we travel. I searched for it only a couple of days ago. Jenny continues to reach out to give us information we need.